…in the ‘clown’s universe’, failure is the gateway to resilience, playfulness and success!
Failure is horrible.
No one likes to fail.
Some people are gifted or downright fortunate- sailing through life making every post a winner- but for most of us, we’ll probably experience more failures than successes. I still squirm with embarrassment when I think about my first attempt to ask a girl out on a date in my early teens.
“No” she said.
“I have a boyfriend… you would really like Peter if you met him”.
Oh how comforting! I thought. I wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out again. Another two years would pass before I would find the courage to ask another girl out on a date.
My embarrassing story is just one of millions. I have seen some people shrivel up due to self- criticism, or the shaming and scolding of unsympathetic peers. `Wounded spirits’ have a difficult (but not impossible) task of finding the inner motivation to cross the next steps of their personal journey. Some people however, develop the resilience to thrive and throw off the shackles of self- criticism and shame that binds them from the kind of risk taking that leads to growth.
Embracing failure… like a fool.
In my journey discovering myself as a performer and eventually experimenting with clowning, I discovered that in the ‘clown’s universe’, failure is the gateway to resilience, playfulness and success! I discovered that unlike the real world, Clowns have this magical quality to bounce back with enthusiasm and hopefulness.
In one workshop, the clowning tutor asked our group to come up with a spontaneous 5 minute clowning skit. Before I went on the stage, I saw a portable red fire extinguisher mounted on a bracket on the wall. I thought to myself `I could create some chaotic, slapstick routines using the fire extinguisher as a prop!’
… so of course I grabbed the fire extinguisher and started fumbling with it awkwardly in a contrived slapstick routine.
Stony silence in the room.
I looked into the eyes of my peers.
No one laughed.
The audience was deadpan.
This was the longest 5 minutes of my life… my feeble attempts to exaggerate my fumbling movements were met with deafening silence.
Feeling defeated, I walked away from the centre of the stage… embarrassed by my efforts.
I went to place the fire extinguisher on the wall bracket.
I struggled to re-attach it.
I fumbled badly, not sure what to do next.
I looked to my audience feeling the pain of embarrassment again…
… as the portable fire extinguisher resisted my attempts to put it back on the wall bracket. Now, I was feeling really frustrated!
… Then…
I heard something that really surprised me.
Small bursts of laughter rippled around the room. I looked at my peers – `They’re laughing at me… I’m funny!’ I thought to myself, `What happened…?’ I looked straight at the audience and shared my discomfort. My peers enjoyed every embarrassing moment!
You see, every day around the world, people take off and re-attach portable fire extinguishers onto wall brackets without so much as a comment. The humour came from my awkward struggles to resolve a situation as ordinary as attempting to re-attach a fire extinguisher to a wall bracket. In moments of stress or difficulty, it’s a common human experience to `double down’ and use more effort to resolve a situation. I call this the `do more – try harder’ philosophy of life.
Embracing unmet needs
Someone I met recently made a comment that struck a responsive chord with me – judgments are simply `unmet needs.’ Under the withering and disapproving gaze of the inner critic- are the hidden, unmet needs of the individual. In my experience of clowning, there is an underlying desire to be loved, accepted and appreciated. Paradoxically, people are more likely to identify with and accept us when we don’t hide our failures and vulnerabilities.
Blessed are the poor in spirit.
Through humor, clowns and fools help free us of the ‘props’ we use to hide from ourselves and each other. The clown’s vulnerability invites us to recognise our own vulnerability, folly and frailty. My experience of clowning reminds me of the words of Jesus in the Beatitudes. ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit’’.
Jesus taught that only the spiritually needy would enter his kingdom. The clown and the spiritually poor have this in common. They are both `unmasked’, open-hearted and avoid pride and self-reliance. The clown mirrors the Beattitudes call for a life of authenticity, vulnerability and inner richness. A life that is unconcerned with external appearances and impressing other people.
Most people who embrace clowning struggle with giving up attempts to be `funny’, `interesting’ and making people laugh. Cleverness usually fails spectacularly, leaving audiences feeling bored and listless, since the clown’s failures by their very nature are a mirror image of our own comical attempts at life. Clowning in life can help us to face difficult truths and free us from unnecessary suffering, and can allow us to embrace creativity and playfulness.
Embracing a clown lifestyle
Fool wisdom provides an alternative way of looking at life. In the universe of the clown, Fool and Jester, the ordinary takes on a new significance. The ordinary reveals a rich vein of spiritual insight for those who have `…ears to hear and eyes to see.’ As a general principle of comedy: Fools, clowns and jesters take the ordinary, pull it apart and raise it to a new and higher level. Rowan Atkinson’s character- Mr Bean, uses ordinary routines such as getting dressed or brushing his teeth to transform ordinary tasks into comedy gold.
Even if it is fool’s Gold!
Navel gaze time:
- How do you `do more-try harder’? What behaviours do you find yourself repeating over and over again that are unhelpful?
- What’s some alternative strategies to doing more of the same?
- How can you reframe this experience? What lessons have you learnt? What advice would a wise Fool give you?