Part 2: Avoid demonizing the enemy.
In a situation of conflict over needs, it’s all too easy to move to a default view. We often see the worst in other people. We look at others through a distorted lens while suppressing, downplaying, or minimizing our faults and flaws. Spiritual blindness leads to hatred and contempt for the other person (or group). We need to exercise sober judgment to see ourselves and others clearly. As Jesus Christ said, ‘… take the log out of your eyes. Then, you can remove the speck from your neighbour’. In his short teaching, Jesus challenged us. He urged us to acknowledge our tendency to judge others harshly. We often judge others harshly for the same behaviours within ourselves. This process of self-reflection is a powerful tool for promoting understanding. It allows us to see beyond our first perceptions, fostering empathy and open-mindedness in conflict situations.
For over 12 years, I worked in the criminal justice system to help rehabilitate youth and adult offenders. Someone asked me: ‘How do you do it… work with criminals?’ I responded…’I’m not that much different.’ I understand that I have the potential for my own tendency towards crime or anti-social behaviour. This work has been a journey of personal growth for me. You hear the stories of the guys `doing time.’ They share the choices they made and the risks they took. You listen to the pathways that led them through decisions. You start to understand how easy it is to commit criminal acts. Then, you add other layers. The lack of opportunities and disadvantages. Add to this bad choices and a peer culture that celebrates or affirms offending.
Taking a risk.
After the first banter and carol singing, some soldiers left the trenches. They offered friendship to the opposing side. Sometimes, we must leave our trenches or fortified opinions long enough to risk meeting with the ‘enemy.’ It takes courage or chutzpah to take the first step. In the short term, staying comfortable with the familiar is more effortless. We find safe territory by taking refuge in our fixed positions, judgments, opinions, beliefs, and ideologies. The risks include confusion, uncertainty, and giving up fixed ideas. Yet, through these risks, we open ourselves to the potential for personal growth and transformation by engaging with differing perspectives. Disliking or hating someone when you are closer to them is more challenging. There was no guarantee their gestures would not be seen as a threat. Their gestures could have been met with gunfire or an attack. In the records, some soldiers were killed during this time. Yet, many took a calculated risk. They informed the opposing side. Then, they walked out onto the battlefield. They wanted to offer a hand or make a gesture of friendship.This act of understanding, of trying to see the other side, is a powerful lesson in empathy.
Find common ground.
An essential factor that made peaceful relations possible in the war of 1914 was a shared story. This story was grounded in a European Christian heritage. Shared rituals created a temporary climate of peace. People put up Christmas trees, exchanged gifts, and sang carols. One German soldier noted, “You are the same religion as we. Today is the day of peace”. Finding areas of agreement can help build trust and reasons to work together. Extended conflict is draining, wastes time and energy, and produces little or nothing of value.
Foolish Times 