It’s Harry’s Birthday. He comes home from work one day and finds a letter in the mailbox. Harry slowly opens the letter and finds a birthday card inside. As he opens the card, a ticket falls out onto the ground. He bends over to pick up the ticket. Harry squints while reading the fine print on the ticket. He says out loud `This is too good to be true!’ The ticket grants the holder `all expenses paid, unlimited overseas travel’ to any location in the world for a period of five years.
Harry’s first excitement at his birthday present starts to give way to some uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. He starts to feel ashamed. Shame is the feeling that suggests `there is something wrong with me…I really don’t deserve an expensive gift like this… I don’t deserve this’. Feeling slightly cynical, Harry thinks to himself `What’s the catch…there’s gotta be catch’.
After a brief pause, Harry puts aside his negative thoughts and receives the birthday present with a feeling of gratitude. He is excited about all the possible places he would like to travel, the tours and adventures that lay waiting for him. Harrys’ good fortune takes an abrupt turn for the worse three days later. He receives an official looking letter in the mail. `Maybe it’s a cheque…a refund or some other good luck’. Harry opens the letter while squinting to read the print. In the letter is an invoice for the travel ticket with a request to pay within 14 days.
What is grace?
Grace is hard to explain. Looking at the opposite of grace is easier for most of us to understand. The opposite is like getting an invoice for a birthday gift. A gift is something good we receive with `no strings attached’ and is usually unearned. While the motives for gift giving can be tainted or corrupted, there is an expectation that we don’t have to earn a birthday present. If birthday presents were conditional on our good behaviour, then most of us would be very disappointed around our birthdays. Not all gifts are external. All of us have gifts in the form of hidden abilities, talents or life experiences that have shaped us for the better.
Playing to our strengths.
Strengths based approaches are very popular in the helping professions. Strength based approaches have this view in common: everyone has potential strengths and abilities that are hidden, partly expressed or utilised. People grow and develop when we encourage and help them `play to their strengths’ and not simply define a person by their problems or see them as the problem. We are all `gifted’ in some way or another. Some people are more physically gifted – have stronger, naturally athletic bodies, a razor-sharp intellect or other natural abilities that give them a head start in life.
How grace is expressed: learning to understand and appreciate our abilities, talents and gifts.
Learning to understand and use our giftedness is one of the guideposts of a life that is based on grace. The character of `Harry’ used in the story was born with a strong sense of optimism. While he was not academically smart in the classroom, Harry had a natural ability to learn practical skills in a real-life environment. This gave him a feeling of mastery and confidence in his work and hobbies. He also gained the respect of his extended family and work colleagues. I once spoke to an older man who radiated joy when he talked about his work role. He was the CEO of a training college. He had found a role that was natural fit with his abilities and life experience. He told me that his work was `play’. His honesty about the challenges and difficulties in his role as CEO gave his story credibility and authenticity.
The expression of grace in our lives.
- Think about something you do that comes naturally without much effort or training. (maybe partly realised and not fully expressed)
- How is this expressed in your life?
- What label would you use to describe these abilities and talents? (you may need to ask another person to help you with this process. We are usually unaware and reluctant to admit our strengths).
Foolish Times 